Why are parents defensive?

Parents are defensive about their choices when they have no idea why they made them. We make intentional decisions about so many aspects of our lives, but most of us choose to parent on autopilot. We content ourselves with parenting the way we were parented, whether it was healthy and effective or not.

Why do kids become defensive?

Just like adults, children get defensive when they feel like someone’s backing them into a corner. If it seems like you can’t even have a simple discussion with your child without raising her hackles, it might be time to examine your family dynamics.

How should parents deal with children who don’t have the same characteristics?

Parents should strive to take their own egos out of the equation and instead focus on what the child needs. Just because a child does not have the same characteristics as their parents does not mean they are a failure that needs correcting. A good strategy is to encourage children to develop their own personality and voice.

Are parents threatened by different abilities and characteristics of their children?

Many parents are threatened and nonplussed if their children’s abilities and characteristics are different from their own. These people are firm believers that their offspring should be carbon copies of them with similar characteristics, interests, and goals.

Is all the wisdom and love protecting you from parenting?

As a parent myself, I’ve learned that all the wisdom and love in the world doesn’t necessarily protect you from parenting in ways that hold your children back from thriving, gaining independence and becoming the leaders they have the potential to be.

Why do parents compare their children to each other?

Parents often believe that if they extol the positive characteristics of siblings and other children to their so-called errant child, their own child will improve. Often, the comparison does the opposite. Those who are constantly compared to others have a diminished sense of individuality and ultimately come to believe that they are worthless.