Am I setting boundaries or being controlling?

Boundaries are decisions that protect fundamental safety or integrity, indicating what one will and will not tolerate. The difference between control and boundaries is that control is meant to make others what you want them to be but boundaries make it safe for us to be ourselves.

How do you identify healthy boundaries?

If you have healthy boundaries, you might:

1. share personal information appropriately (not too much or not too little)
2. understand your personal needs and wants and know how to communicate them.
3. value your own opinions.
4. accept when others tell you “no”

How do you identify unhealthy boundaries?

Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries

1. Letting everyone know everything.
2. Talking at an intimate level on the first meeting with someone.
3. Falling in love with a new acquaintance.
4. Not noticing when another person displays inappropriate boundaries.
5. Falling in love with anyone who reaches out to help or support you.

What is the difference between setting boundaries and manipulation?

However, boundaries are moving the focus of control to where you actually have it – yourself. Manipulation is about controlling others, which is bound to fail at some point.

How do you kindly set boundaries?

How to set boundaries with kindness

1. Keep the focus on your feelings and needs. Setting a boundary is about communicating what you need and expect.
2. Be direct.
3. Be specific.
4. Use a neutral tone of voice.
5. Choose the right time.
6. Consider the other persons needs.

What are examples of unhealthy boundaries?

Here are some examples of what unhealthy boundaries may look like:

• Disrespecting the values, beliefs, and opinions of others when you do not agree with them.
• Not saying “no” or not accepting when others say “no.”
• Feeling like you are responsible for other people’s feelings and/or happiness.

How do you set boundaries with a controlling person?

Express your boundaries directly. Make your personal boundaries as clear as you possibly can. Tell the person, on no uncertain terms, what you will and will not put up with in the future. Controlling people are difficult by nature. They will do everything they can to ignore or misinterpret your boundaries.